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Week One - Saturday(Night Games) – SEC 2015
Arizona State Sun Devils (3.5 pt DOG) @ Texas A&M Aggies….
Texas A&M, or as I like to call them, “Nickname U”, kicks off against the Sun Devils this coming Saturday on a neutral site in Houston, Texas. Will Aggie QB Kyle Allen prove good enough in this game to earn himself a new nifty nickname? I have a few nicknames in mind if he does “GOOD” or if he does “BAD”.
GOOD:
Kyle “Make You Smile” Allen
Kyle “Aggie Style” Allen
Kyle “Mr. Versatile” Allen
BAD:
Kyle “Vile Black Bile” Allen
Kyle “Won’t be Back for a While” Allen
Kyle “Cow Pile” Allen
This Aggie defense will definitely be more physical on defense this year with the addition of ex-LSU DC John Chavis but there may be no one healthy enough to play when he gets done whipping them into shape. Arizona State on the other hand is hitting on all cylinders. They have had “back-2-back” 10 win seasons and will be pushing the Trojans of Southern Cal and the Ducks of Oregon for that PAC-12 title. They are pre-season ranked 15th in the country for a reason. This game should prove to be a real barn burner and fun game to watch. I expect both teams to be able to put points on the board but I think this game all comes down to the last drive within the last minute. I don’t consider this to be an upset but since Texas A&M is favored to win, I will. Sun Devils win and pocket the Vegas points 35-33!!!
Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns (16.5 pt DOG) @ Kentucky Wildcats….
The Kentucky Football season is getting ready to kick off this Saturday which reminds me it’s almost time for Kentucky fans to start talking about their fantasy basketball program. Ragin’ Cajuns Head Coach Mark Hudspeth has been at Louisiana-Lafayette for four seasons. The results: 4 consecutive 9-4 seasons, 4 consecutive bowl games and 4 consecutive bowls victories!!! I’m betting that this man gets more than senior discounts on his coffee at the local Hardees in Lafayette, LA. Let’s just say he’s well received wherever he goes in town. Despite his success, he’s limited to his talent level. Even though Kentucky is still the low man on the SEC totem pole; they still have big-time SEC talent. With 16 returning starters and big time talent on the field the Cajuns will struggle to be effective on offense. The Cajun’s pride and will keep them in the fight. But, in the end it will be Kentucky’s all-star cast made of QB Patrick Towles, RB Stanley “Boom” Williams, LB Josh Forrest and DT Melvin Lewis that close the deal for the Wildcats!!!........Wildcats win and cover 42-17!!!
McNeese State Cowboys (35 pt DOG) @ LSU Tigers….
I fully expect the LSU cheerleaders to be playing in the 4th quarter of this game. Annnnd scoring at will!!! The Cowboys aren’t even good within their own conference, The Southland Conference. It’s possible that LSU Tiger RB Leonard Fournette could rush for over a 1,000yards in the first quarter with 50+TDs. Ok, that might be a slight stretch, but it’s going to be an “ole-fashion butt whooping” however you slice it. I just hope LSU’s live mascot Mike, the Tiger, doesn’t get an upset tummy from eating so much red meat all at once. Let’s hope not; but just in case, the trainers probably should be lookin’ for cleats and cowboy hats in his poop at halftime. Just saying……………..Tigers win and cover 55-0!!!
New Mexico State Aggies (36.5 pt DOG) @ Florida Gators….
Florida’s new Head Coach Jim McElwain was hired to re-ignite this Gator’s offensive torch so he could light up the path back to the road of “Winning Ways” for this Gator program. Don’t expect miracles and champions in Gainesville this year but do expect immediate improvement. This opening game will be the launch pad for the “soon to be named” starting QB at Florida. Coach McElwain plans to use this game to do his final evaluation of his QBs before naming one as the leader of the team. New Mexico State Aggies on the other hand hasn’t had a winning season since 2002. They are projected to finish 127th out of 128 teams in DI football….....In other words; they are weak, very weak. Weak as water! Heck, they may be weaker than water. Their weakest is comparable to someone trying to get drunk on vanilla extract by eating 4 bowls of momma’s homemade banana pudding in a single sitting. Drunkenness and Winning just ain’t happen for either party!!!.........................This football game quickly turns into a track meet. Gators win and cover 55-3!!!
Wisconsin Badgers (10.5 pt DOG) @ Alabama Crimson Tide….
Little Ole Nicky Satan is back at it again for the 9th year as the head coach of the Crimson Tide. He did re-negotiate with the devil at the end of the 2014 season. As the saying goes “The devils in the details”; well it turns out that Little Nicky was promised a few more wins in 2015 and all he had to give up was his Offensive Coordinator’s soul. And, as luck would have, Coach Nick Satan lost nothing in the negotiation because Coach Kiffin’s soul was already sitting in hell misfiled under “Screwing Tennessee Volunteers”. The Tide comes in high once again this year as pre-season favorites to win it all in the SEC and some experts go so far to calling them National Champs (TBD). I’m not ready to call them SEC Champs much less National Champs until we see how this QB situation plays itself out. The Badgers come into the season with only one thing on their mind; winning the Big Ten-West so they get a re-match with Ohio State for a chance to win the Big Ten Champion. But, more importantly, they want redemption. Ohio State destroyed Wisconsin last year in the Big Ten championship game-------------------59-0!!!......Ouch!!!....The Badgers will be fired up and ready to prove themselves against this elite SEC team plus the confidence will be oozing from the win over Auburn in the Outback Bowl this past January. Coach Nick Satan said he looked forward to playing Wiscon-SIN!!!………..hmmmmmmm………….I wonder why!!!!.....The Crimson Tide rolls and covers 33-21!!!
Mississippi State Bulldogs (21 pt FAV) @ Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles….
Just thinking about this late night game is starting to give me the late night munchies……I’m just trying to think of the perfect entree for game time……And maybe I could call up some players to help me cook!!!
Maybe try doing some Eagle Cordon Blue or Blacken Eagle??? Yeaaaaaa, that sounds good! Despite the names being brown, I bet Miss. State’s DE Ryan Brown and LB Beniquez Brown could definitely help me apply the black and blue to this Eagle dinner!!!...Orrrrrrrr, maybe try doing some Eagle Noodle Soup???? Yeaaaa, that sounds good too! I could get Southern Miss’s QB Nick Mullens to give me a hand or one of his arms to make the noodles for the soup!!!! Orrrrrrr, maybe try doing some Sweet and Sour Eagle???? Yeaaaaaa, that sounds good too!!! I could get Miss State’s QB Dak Prescott to supply me with several TDs----that would be real sweet!!! And then have Southern Miss’s DC David Duggan supply me with a few frowny faces (L) to get the sour taste. (But not too much; because sometimes it’s hard to get the taste of losing out of your mouth)…….Ahhhh, they all sound good but I think I just want my eagle deep fried. The Eagles will definitely be a much improved team from last year but the secondary at Southern Miss is going to get deep fried by Dak Prescott and his army of receivers. Dawgs win and cover 38-14!!!
END OF WEEK ONE