JIMBO's FREE SEC COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS - "With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
JIMBO's FREE SEC COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
"With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
Week Two - Saturday - SEC-2014
Florida Atlantic Owls (40.5pt DOG) @ #2 Alabama Crimson Tide .
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers!!! We have a "Blue Light" special for the next 30 minutes on toilet paper, Tide detergent, bathroom plungers and "Harvey Updyke for President" t-shirts. Also, the person driving the 1984 Camero painted in crimson red plaid with the 10"lift kit; you left your lights!!!! Lackluster, rusty or trouble?..........(NONE OF THE ABOVE) Don't freak-out Bama fans, It was week one!!! Plus, I think West Virginia was a little under-rated going into this game. With that being said, you won't have to worry about covering the spread this week. Expect Bama's 3rd string to come in early and for all of the Bama cheerleaders to letter by the 4th quarter!!!............. Big Al rolls and covers 55-7!!!
#24 Missouri Tigers (4pt FAV) @ Toledo Rockets .
LOVE DEFENSE????------Then don't watch this game!!!.....This is going to be one those "Whoever has the ball last wins" type games .I want to call for the upset but I can't find my balls this week to do it!!! I think last Thursday night; I might have lost one in Columbia, South Carolina and the other one may be somewhere in the south endzone of the football stadium in Nashville, Tennessee!!!....Let's just say I'm playing it safe this week!!!!..... :`) ....I like Mizzou's QB Maty Mauk and RB Russell Hansbrough to be the difference makers at the end of the game (In a close one) ..Tigers win but do not cover 35-34!!!
Arkansas State Red Wolves (18pt DOG) @ Tennessee Volunteers .
Has somebody been putting gunpowder in ole Smokey's food bowl during the offseason??? He went a little "LOCO" this past Sunday night!!!!.........Apparently Coach Jones pitched ole Smokey a new chew toy before the game (Utah State) and he didn't quit playing with it for 4 quarters!!!!! I like Butch Jones and what he's doing at Tennessee!!! He's an outstanding coach, recruiter, mentor and motivator and it's all starting to show on the field!!! .Tennessee is going be good very soon!!! Ok, everybody (cue the church music) ----------------"SOON AND VERY SOON!!! We are going 10-n-2!!!" Although, that's probably not happening this year!!!!......This week, we get to see if last week was a coincidence or an accident!!!!!............ I'm betting it's a prelude of good things to come for the Volunteers!!!........Short work week, high on last week's win, keep this game close until the 4th quarter! The VOLS win but do not cover 35-21!!!
UAB Blazers (28.5pt DOG) @ Mississippi State Bulldogs .
Alright, what did we learn after feasting on some of Mississippi's finest Southern Fried Golden Eagles last weekend??????............Mainly, Eagle tastes a lot like chicken when consumed in quarter portions!!! On defense we learned that not only is Chris Jones a rising star but Preston Smith is going to be playing on Sundays next year. On offense we learned that Dak Prescott has many WMDs at his disposal!!! RB Robinson, WR Lewis, WR Wilson, WR Ross, WR Morrow and TE Brown (aka Weapons of Mass Destruction) .We don't want to read too much into this victory since everyone knows Southern Miss is "weak as water "and has a "Glass Chin" but I believe State's defense is legit!!!....As far as UAB goes; well the Blazes had a dominate win over rival Troy last weekend. And just for the record, these two teams had to go to overtime last year to decide a winner!!! (BTW - it was Troy, not UAB, who came out on top last year!!!) .Needless to say, UAB is going to be better this year and it all centers around their running game. Last weekend both running backs went over 100 yards; this coming weekend, they might both combine for a 100 yards total!!!...................I like state's defense, but I think they might struggle early with assignment football. But, defense, no worries----Dak gotcha back!!!..............Bulldogs win but do not cover 42-17!!!
Ohio Bobcats (12.5pt DOG) @ Kentucky Wildcats .
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN LEXINGTON LAST WEEKEND???? Did the basketball team decide to show up and start playing football??? Now that I mention it,,,,,I do faintly remember a Kentucky wide receiver going into the endzone to score a TD but instead of spiking the ball he just dribbled the football past the referee and spun back to the goal post and slammed it thru the uprights!!!......Can you even say the words "Kentucky football" and"blow out" in the same sentence????---------and that "still" be a good thing for Kentucky football fans???!!!!??? Isn't there a Kentucky law on the books preventing those two "word phases" from being married together in the same sentence???? I think its right next to laws preventing relatives from being married!!!......Nice job WILDCATS!!!.....The competition will be better this week but I still like the Wildcat's chances!!!! ..Kentucky wins and covers 31-14!!!
Eastern Michigan Eagles (39pt DOG) @ Florida Gators .
The only thing that could possible delay this football game more than Eastern Michigan's "Concrete Wall - Sledge hammering" entrance could be Florida's weather. Last weekend, the Gators were ready to chomp down on some Vandal hide. Coach Muschamp said his players were jacked up and ready to go. He described the stadium atmosphere as "electric"!!!!! Well, before kickoff the irony of his quote would become abundantly clear-----------Lightning!!!! (And a lot of it!!!)Florida would have to eventually suspend their season-opener against the Vandals of Idaho due to lightning and rain. After standing in the rain for a few hours, Coach MustyChimp decided to get his Gators out of the SWAMP!!! Unexpected "ACTS of GOD" are just part of the game!!!!..........Speaking of which, Eastern Michigan's only real shot of winning this game is another unexpected "ACT of GOD" at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium!!!!.................................Gators win but do not cover 45-7!!!
Nicholls State Colonels (25pt DOG) @ Arkansas Razorbacks .
I learned 3 things watching Arkansas play last weekend?..................... #1-They can still run the football. #2- Opponents can still run the football on them . #3- Arkansas coach Bret Bielema is "NOT" bulimic!!!....Hawg fans, expect a heavy dose of Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams in this game. Once these Hawgs get into the flow and start ruttin' up the field; expect QB Brandon Allen to bait the field with WR Wilson, Derby, Hatcher, Henry and Hollister!!!!......Nicholls State's only chance of scoring in this game is; hanging around the Stadium after the game trying to pick up drunk chicks!!!......Hawgs win and cover 45-10!!!
Vanderbilt Commodores (20pt DOG) @ #15 Ole Miss Rebels .
Just wanting to give a "great big shout out" to new Head Coach Derek Mason at Vandy----1st game as a SEC head football coach and he has already taken the lead in two offensive categories. Most turnovers (7) and lowest rushing yardage output (54) .CONGRAUATIONS, you officially sucked last week!!!
Despite Bo Wallace's best attempt to win the "turnover" title; he was finally able to turn it around in the 4th quarter and put up really good numbers. Defensively, the Rebels completely shut down the Broncos! Bad start but a win!!!....So, no harm, no foul plus beating Boise State will look good hanging over the mantle. On paper this week's game should be a "blowout" but for some strange reason Vandy seems to always hassle the Rebels when they least should!!! ...I'm betting on a better performance from Vandy but I'm also betting on the same result from Vandy!!!...........The Rebels win but do not cover 35-17!!!!
East Carolina Pirates (16pt DOG) @ # 21 South Carolina Gamecocks .
Well, I think it goes without saying Nobody, I mean, NOooooooooobody saw that one coming!!!! Not even Coach Sumlin at Texas A&M!!!!....Have you ever heard the expression "Trap Game"? .Well, that's exactly what's in play this week in Columbia!!! A good East Carolina football team is coming into Bryce Williams Stadium this weekend with a chip on their shoulder. They have a QB by the name Shane Carden and all he does is make it rain touchdowns with his arm!!!(2013 - 33 TDs and 4,139 yard passing!!!) The Gamecocks could find themselves losing to Texas A&M twice if they didn't shake off their loss from last week. Obviously Carolina's secondary struggled last week and it doesn't get any easier this weekend!!! The Good news is; it's fixable. It's not like Steve Spurrier is working with 2 star athletes. The talent is there but they must mature quickly to avoid another poor performance this weekend. With RB Mike Davis out this for this game, the offense will be limited on explosive runs but the team may be more focused on task at hand and actually pull closer together. Defensively-----The only remedy to an embarrassing loss is winning this week!!!....Look for Carolina's defense to start fast but fade in the 4th quarter!!! Cocks wins but do not cover 35-31!!!
San Jose State Spartans (33.5pt DOG) @ #5 Auburn Tigers .
News ALERT: Gus Malzahn was caught red handed the other night trying to destroy another tree at Toomer's Square!!!....After police investigated it was discovered that he was merely pulling off some switches to hand out to his players so they could commence with the whippings Saturday night!!! With Nick Marshall available for both halves this weekend; expect a heavy dose of drone attacks from the sky as the tanks, RB Cameron Artis-Payne and Corey Grant, come in for ground support!!!......Tigers win but do not cover 54-21!!!
Sam Houston State Bearkats (38 pt DOG) @ #12 LSU Tigers .
HOUSTON, we have a problem!!!....Or in this case (problems) - QB Jennings, RB Hilliary and RB Fournette....Texas A&M's QB, Kenny Hill, was ranked in some polls as high as #1 "dual threat" QB coming out of high school in 2013!!!...Guess who was ranked right behind him-----LSU's starting QB, Anthony Jennings!!! The talent is there but it's still raw!!!...Bayou Bengals win but do not cover the spread 49-14!!!
Lamar Cardinals (35pt DOG) @ #9 Texas A& M Aggies .
Everybody know who Kenny Hill is now???....NO!!!??? No problem, there will be a re-play this weekend!!!.........................................Aggies win and cover 58-21!!!
End of Week Two
JIMBO's FREE SEC COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
"With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
Week Two - Saturday - SEC-2014
Florida Atlantic Owls (40.5pt DOG) @ #2 Alabama Crimson Tide .
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers!!! We have a "Blue Light" special for the next 30 minutes on toilet paper, Tide detergent, bathroom plungers and "Harvey Updyke for President" t-shirts. Also, the person driving the 1984 Camero painted in crimson red plaid with the 10"lift kit; you left your lights!!!! Lackluster, rusty or trouble?..........(NONE OF THE ABOVE) Don't freak-out Bama fans, It was week one!!! Plus, I think West Virginia was a little under-rated going into this game. With that being said, you won't have to worry about covering the spread this week. Expect Bama's 3rd string to come in early and for all of the Bama cheerleaders to letter by the 4th quarter!!!............. Big Al rolls and covers 55-7!!!
#24 Missouri Tigers (4pt FAV) @ Toledo Rockets .
LOVE DEFENSE????------Then don't watch this game!!!.....This is going to be one those "Whoever has the ball last wins" type games .I want to call for the upset but I can't find my balls this week to do it!!! I think last Thursday night; I might have lost one in Columbia, South Carolina and the other one may be somewhere in the south endzone of the football stadium in Nashville, Tennessee!!!....Let's just say I'm playing it safe this week!!!!..... :`) ....I like Mizzou's QB Maty Mauk and RB Russell Hansbrough to be the difference makers at the end of the game (In a close one) ..Tigers win but do not cover 35-34!!!
Arkansas State Red Wolves (18pt DOG) @ Tennessee Volunteers .
Has somebody been putting gunpowder in ole Smokey's food bowl during the offseason??? He went a little "LOCO" this past Sunday night!!!!.........Apparently Coach Jones pitched ole Smokey a new chew toy before the game (Utah State) and he didn't quit playing with it for 4 quarters!!!!! I like Butch Jones and what he's doing at Tennessee!!! He's an outstanding coach, recruiter, mentor and motivator and it's all starting to show on the field!!! .Tennessee is going be good very soon!!! Ok, everybody (cue the church music) ----------------"SOON AND VERY SOON!!! We are going 10-n-2!!!" Although, that's probably not happening this year!!!!......This week, we get to see if last week was a coincidence or an accident!!!!!............ I'm betting it's a prelude of good things to come for the Volunteers!!!........Short work week, high on last week's win, keep this game close until the 4th quarter! The VOLS win but do not cover 35-21!!!
UAB Blazers (28.5pt DOG) @ Mississippi State Bulldogs .
Alright, what did we learn after feasting on some of Mississippi's finest Southern Fried Golden Eagles last weekend??????............Mainly, Eagle tastes a lot like chicken when consumed in quarter portions!!! On defense we learned that not only is Chris Jones a rising star but Preston Smith is going to be playing on Sundays next year. On offense we learned that Dak Prescott has many WMDs at his disposal!!! RB Robinson, WR Lewis, WR Wilson, WR Ross, WR Morrow and TE Brown (aka Weapons of Mass Destruction) .We don't want to read too much into this victory since everyone knows Southern Miss is "weak as water "and has a "Glass Chin" but I believe State's defense is legit!!!....As far as UAB goes; well the Blazes had a dominate win over rival Troy last weekend. And just for the record, these two teams had to go to overtime last year to decide a winner!!! (BTW - it was Troy, not UAB, who came out on top last year!!!) .Needless to say, UAB is going to be better this year and it all centers around their running game. Last weekend both running backs went over 100 yards; this coming weekend, they might both combine for a 100 yards total!!!...................I like state's defense, but I think they might struggle early with assignment football. But, defense, no worries----Dak gotcha back!!!..............Bulldogs win but do not cover 42-17!!!
Ohio Bobcats (12.5pt DOG) @ Kentucky Wildcats .
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN LEXINGTON LAST WEEKEND???? Did the basketball team decide to show up and start playing football??? Now that I mention it,,,,,I do faintly remember a Kentucky wide receiver going into the endzone to score a TD but instead of spiking the ball he just dribbled the football past the referee and spun back to the goal post and slammed it thru the uprights!!!......Can you even say the words "Kentucky football" and"blow out" in the same sentence????---------and that "still" be a good thing for Kentucky football fans???!!!!??? Isn't there a Kentucky law on the books preventing those two "word phases" from being married together in the same sentence???? I think its right next to laws preventing relatives from being married!!!......Nice job WILDCATS!!!.....The competition will be better this week but I still like the Wildcat's chances!!!! ..Kentucky wins and covers 31-14!!!
Eastern Michigan Eagles (39pt DOG) @ Florida Gators .
The only thing that could possible delay this football game more than Eastern Michigan's "Concrete Wall - Sledge hammering" entrance could be Florida's weather. Last weekend, the Gators were ready to chomp down on some Vandal hide. Coach Muschamp said his players were jacked up and ready to go. He described the stadium atmosphere as "electric"!!!!! Well, before kickoff the irony of his quote would become abundantly clear-----------Lightning!!!! (And a lot of it!!!)Florida would have to eventually suspend their season-opener against the Vandals of Idaho due to lightning and rain. After standing in the rain for a few hours, Coach MustyChimp decided to get his Gators out of the SWAMP!!! Unexpected "ACTS of GOD" are just part of the game!!!!..........Speaking of which, Eastern Michigan's only real shot of winning this game is another unexpected "ACT of GOD" at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium!!!!.................................Gators win but do not cover 45-7!!!
Nicholls State Colonels (25pt DOG) @ Arkansas Razorbacks .
I learned 3 things watching Arkansas play last weekend?..................... #1-They can still run the football. #2- Opponents can still run the football on them . #3- Arkansas coach Bret Bielema is "NOT" bulimic!!!....Hawg fans, expect a heavy dose of Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams in this game. Once these Hawgs get into the flow and start ruttin' up the field; expect QB Brandon Allen to bait the field with WR Wilson, Derby, Hatcher, Henry and Hollister!!!!......Nicholls State's only chance of scoring in this game is; hanging around the Stadium after the game trying to pick up drunk chicks!!!......Hawgs win and cover 45-10!!!
Vanderbilt Commodores (20pt DOG) @ #15 Ole Miss Rebels .
Just wanting to give a "great big shout out" to new Head Coach Derek Mason at Vandy----1st game as a SEC head football coach and he has already taken the lead in two offensive categories. Most turnovers (7) and lowest rushing yardage output (54) .CONGRAUATIONS, you officially sucked last week!!!
Despite Bo Wallace's best attempt to win the "turnover" title; he was finally able to turn it around in the 4th quarter and put up really good numbers. Defensively, the Rebels completely shut down the Broncos! Bad start but a win!!!....So, no harm, no foul plus beating Boise State will look good hanging over the mantle. On paper this week's game should be a "blowout" but for some strange reason Vandy seems to always hassle the Rebels when they least should!!! ...I'm betting on a better performance from Vandy but I'm also betting on the same result from Vandy!!!...........The Rebels win but do not cover 35-17!!!!
East Carolina Pirates (16pt DOG) @ # 21 South Carolina Gamecocks .
Well, I think it goes without saying Nobody, I mean, NOooooooooobody saw that one coming!!!! Not even Coach Sumlin at Texas A&M!!!!....Have you ever heard the expression "Trap Game"? .Well, that's exactly what's in play this week in Columbia!!! A good East Carolina football team is coming into Bryce Williams Stadium this weekend with a chip on their shoulder. They have a QB by the name Shane Carden and all he does is make it rain touchdowns with his arm!!!(2013 - 33 TDs and 4,139 yard passing!!!) The Gamecocks could find themselves losing to Texas A&M twice if they didn't shake off their loss from last week. Obviously Carolina's secondary struggled last week and it doesn't get any easier this weekend!!! The Good news is; it's fixable. It's not like Steve Spurrier is working with 2 star athletes. The talent is there but they must mature quickly to avoid another poor performance this weekend. With RB Mike Davis out this for this game, the offense will be limited on explosive runs but the team may be more focused on task at hand and actually pull closer together. Defensively-----The only remedy to an embarrassing loss is winning this week!!!....Look for Carolina's defense to start fast but fade in the 4th quarter!!! Cocks wins but do not cover 35-31!!!
San Jose State Spartans (33.5pt DOG) @ #5 Auburn Tigers .
News ALERT: Gus Malzahn was caught red handed the other night trying to destroy another tree at Toomer's Square!!!....After police investigated it was discovered that he was merely pulling off some switches to hand out to his players so they could commence with the whippings Saturday night!!! With Nick Marshall available for both halves this weekend; expect a heavy dose of drone attacks from the sky as the tanks, RB Cameron Artis-Payne and Corey Grant, come in for ground support!!!......Tigers win but do not cover 54-21!!!
Sam Houston State Bearkats (38 pt DOG) @ #12 LSU Tigers .
HOUSTON, we have a problem!!!....Or in this case (problems) - QB Jennings, RB Hilliary and RB Fournette....Texas A&M's QB, Kenny Hill, was ranked in some polls as high as #1 "dual threat" QB coming out of high school in 2013!!!...Guess who was ranked right behind him-----LSU's starting QB, Anthony Jennings!!! The talent is there but it's still raw!!!...Bayou Bengals win but do not cover the spread 49-14!!!
Lamar Cardinals (35pt DOG) @ #9 Texas A& M Aggies .
Everybody know who Kenny Hill is now???....NO!!!??? No problem, there will be a re-play this weekend!!!.........................................Aggies win and cover 58-21!!!
End of Week Two
