JIMBO's FREE SEC COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
"With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
Week Seven - Saturday - SEC-2014
#13 Georgia Bulldogs (1pt DOG) @ #23 Missouri Tigers .
Not sure if you familiar the history and origin of the Bulldog. Back in the Middle Ages and probably before, a popular sport in England took place where dogs were trained to bite and hold onto a Bull's nose rendering the Bull helpless since this was the most tender and most sensitive part of the Bull. As you can imagine a lot of Bulldogs died and a lot of Bulls died. This blood sport was called "Bull Baiting" and the dogs used were called Bulldogs. The beaten and scarred Bulldogs that were successful were the most prized possessions of the owner and were showered in flowers and paraded around town has true champions!!!......Ironically it was the Bulldog's tenacity, stubbornness and courage that was later used to fight other animals. Animals like lions, monkeys, bears, wolves and guess what else------Yup, Tigers!!! (aka Tiger Baiting).....This weekend only you'll be able to go back in time and watch a real live "Tiger Baiting" event in Columbia, Missouri!!!!.........The hunter (Missouri's defense) becomes the hunted!!! The winner of this game most likely will produce this year's SEC East Champion!!!!.......Expect UGA, along with RB Todd Gurley, to be hiking up their legs and marking the goalposts upon arrival to Faurot Field The Bulldogs are heading to MO to kick ass and chew bubble gum; and they're all out of gum!!!! Dawgs win---------WAIT!!!...Scratch that---GURLEY SUSPENDED!!!..........Tigers win and cover 33-31!!!
Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks (21pt DOG) @ Kentucky Wildcats .
KENTUCKY FOOTBALL IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!!!..........................Place your order, place your order!!! Now serving up fried Gamecock with a side order of "ass kicking"!!!..........Did somebody forget to tell Kentucky to lose this year??? .lollll Kentucky is one TRIPLE OT loss to Florida away from being 5-0!!! WOW!!!.......I don't know what to expect next; jelly on the outside of a biscuit, cats sleeping with dogs, ugly fat chicks hooking up with sober looking guys in broad daylight------THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN!!! Can you believe it??? Wildcats 4-1!!! ..WOW!!!............Kinda brings a tear to my eye just sayin' it!!! My little baby Kentucky basketball done all "Grown-UP" on me and became a big ole college football!!!! Well this week; make 5-1!!!...............Wildcats win and cover 42-17!!!
#2 Auburn Tigers (3pt FAV) @ #3 Mississippi State Bulldogs .
Three weeks ago, I picked the LSU Tigers to beat the Miss State Bulldogs at Baton Rouge on a Saturday night; and then last week, I picked the Texas A&M Aggies and Kenny Hill to outlast and outscore the Bulldogs!!!...Miss State dominated both games!!!!.......So, it seems like every time I pick against the Bulldogs in a big game they end up winning .So, what's up with that???....Has my expert football picking skills faded????........Has my LUCK changed???.........Did I break a mirror and forget about it??? Did I walk under a ladder at some point???......Did a black cat zip by me when I wasn't looking??? NO!!! Hey folks, you're not superstitious are you??? Do you really think if I pick Auburn to win this game Miss State would win??? That's just crazy talk!!!...So, despite the numerous death threats by Bulldogs Fan to pick Auburn this week I will instead call it; just like I see it!!!! . So, I went to my "palm reader" yesterday carrying my lucky rabbit's foot, wearing my lucky underwear with the horse shoe in it and she told me lollllllllll ..Folks, this Bulldog team doesn't need luck. They've got Dak Prescott!!!......I'm totally sold on this Bulldog team (despite the inconsistent kicking) Two talented very similar teams will be equally matched this Saturday. I expect this game to go down to the wire. In fact, I'm predicting this game has to go into overtime to produce a winner. When it comes to picking against the spread; you know what I like to say-------"I love a DOG at home, when the DOG at home, is a DAWG!!!" SOooooooooooooo, to all you superstitious Auburn Fans, I'm actually doing you a favorite this week!!! BUT, I'VE GOT A FEVER AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS MORE COWBELL!!!......GO DAWGS!!!.....Bullpuppies win and pocket the points 34-31!!!
Chattanooga Mocs (26 pt DOG) @ Tennessee Volunteers .
If you like watching "paint dry" you would have loved watching the Tennessee/Florida game last week!!!......It was a battle of offensive powers; Florida won 10-9!!! .Yippee!..........Let's just say, the most memorable part of this game, besides it ending, was Smokey cleaning his doggie parts on the sideline!!!
Despite the loss, Tennessee continues to improve. And, as long as QB Justin Worley can stay healthy; they have a chance to win in 5 out of the 7 games left on their schedule ..This week's opponent: Chattanooga Mocs which is short for mocking bird now!!!..........(politically correct strikes again) Anywhoooooo, Tennessee has struggled over the past few years, so the Athletic Director(AD) at Tennessee went shopping for cream puffs and cupcakes and finally settled on a dessert from Chattanooga!!!....The only problem picking out this dessert is; this dessert might bite back!!! The Mocs come into this game as the front runner in the Southern Football conference and are improving each week Expect Chattanooga to bring their "A" game to make the best of this rare opportunity since it's been 45 years since they've had a crack at the Volunteers!!!......But in the end, the only thing this Mocking Bird from Chattanooga will be "MOCKING" is the song being repeated all day long at Neyland Stadium!!!....Good ol' Rocky Top; Rocky Top, Tennessee!!!(repeat, and then repeat, and then repeat).......Volunteers win and cover 42-14!!!
#7 Alabama Crimson Tide (9.5pt FAV) @ Arkansas Razorbacks .
Testing, testing 123; testing 123 .All systems go!!!.......HOUSTON, Dick Satan is cleared for takeoff!!!...I'm just glad I didn't have to do wind sprints in Tuscaloosa this week!!!!.................Whoaaaaaaaa!!!....I have to admit; I would have loved to been tailing gating with Harvey Updyke when Alabama lost!!! Just sayin' he might have taught me a new cuss word or at least a new variation usage of the "F" word!!! There's probably not a tree safe within a 90mile radius of Oxford Miss now!!!!!....lollll BAMA Fans; NEVER FEAR!!!!! ..........Arkansas is here!!!.......The only problem is Arkansas is good this year!!!! And Coach Bret "Bielema-alone" has had two weeks of uninterrupted time to prepare for this game. This is going to be an ole fashion "slobber knobber"!!!!....I'm talking "Smash mouth, down and dirty, bloody nose and broken toes" kind of football game!!!.....................Expect these cornered BOARS from Fayetteville, AR to come out fighting until their bitter death!!!The Crimson Tide wins but does not cover 42-35!!!
LSU Tigers (2pt FAV) @ Florida Gators .
LSWHOoooooo???............Well, this weekend we'll find out WHOooo!!! .Will the Tigers come out fighting or will they come out like soulless zombies seeking a bullet to the brain to put them out of their misery????........Now, last I heard, after "Less" Miles finished watching the last week's game film; he headed over to the south side of town to meet up with a voodoo queen named Marie Laveau and have her sprinkle some black magic on his MOJO!!!...Well, that's the story he's telling his wife!!! But truth be known, Coach Miles was spotted on Bourdon Street walking out of the "Triple Dot" package store heading to the Red-Light District to do a little soul searching!!!!.....Florida can't score!!!! So, I think this is the weekend that humpy dumpy puts himself back together again!!! .Tigers win and cover 35-31!!!
Charleston Southern Buccaneers (21pt DOG) @ Vanderbilt Commodores .
She's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!! She's mighty mighty
And just lettin' it all hang out,,,,and she's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!!
And like lady's stacked and that's the fact
Ain't holding nothing back, she's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!!
We're here together everybody knows ..
This is how the story goes ..She's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!!
Ok, that was one of the greatest hits of the Commodores!!!!.....Unfortunately, I'm going to be talking about a different band of Commodores. The only hits this Vanderbilt Commodores team produced last week was when their DB's ricocheted off Gurley's thighs as he ran for 163 yards and 2 touchdowns!!!..Worst team in the South Eastern Conference will be facing the best team in the Big South Conference!!!.........I'm very familiar with Charleston Southern and they will show up to play Saturday but no way, they beat Vandy at Vandy!!! Unless Vandy pulls a Vandy!!!! Commodores win but do not cover 34-24!!!
#3 Ole Miss Rebels (2.5pt DOG) @ #14 Texas A&M Aggies .
Are you ready? Hell yeah! Damn right! Hotty Totty! Gosh almighty! Who the hell are we? Hey! Flim flam! Bim bam! Ole Miss! By damn!......Three things that I didn't expect to see in Oxford, Miss last weekend!!!
#1- @6:45 pm -Ole Miss upsets Alabama....
#2- @12:01am-Katy Perry is still partyin' hard & body surfing at a local bar in Oxford
#3- @2:15 am - A frat guy "hugging-n-kissing" on a piece of the goalpost mumbling---"I love you too Bo!!!!"
Did everyone in the world think what I was thinking after the Ole Miss Kicker missed that extra point on that last TD???..........Yup, Bama is going to drive down and win this game by one point!!!!...Shoooo!!!...CLOSE, but no cigar Alabama!!! Bottom-line: The Rebel's defense stepped up and made a play when they had to secure the "W" and that's what counts!!!!........Better sober up quick Katy Perry, this week you're on the road----Hostile TERRITORY!!!! The Aggies got embarrassed by the Mississippi State Bulldogs last week and have revenge on their mind!!!! All Texas A&M can see this weekend is "RED" and that the Ole Miss Rebels are from Mississippi!!!Texas A&M has been totally focused this week in practice and the Aggie Defense "CANNOT" wait to get the taste of Bully's poop out of their mouth!!! Unfortunately for the Aggie defense this weekend they'll be getting served Bo Wallace "Poo-Poo" sandwiches!!!........lollll......(Yeah, I went there!!!)Rebels win and pocket the points 27-24!!!
End of Week Seven
JIMBO's FREE SEC COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
"With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
**************Results after Week Six**************
****Week Six Results****
Picked 01 winners out of 06 games (Straight up) 16.67%
Picked 02 winners out of 06 games (Against the Spread) 33.33%
****YTD Results****
Picked 44 winners out of 55 games (Straight up) 80.00%
Picked 26 winners out of 53 games (Against the Spread) 49.06%
"With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
Week Seven - Saturday - SEC-2014
#13 Georgia Bulldogs (1pt DOG) @ #23 Missouri Tigers .
Not sure if you familiar the history and origin of the Bulldog. Back in the Middle Ages and probably before, a popular sport in England took place where dogs were trained to bite and hold onto a Bull's nose rendering the Bull helpless since this was the most tender and most sensitive part of the Bull. As you can imagine a lot of Bulldogs died and a lot of Bulls died. This blood sport was called "Bull Baiting" and the dogs used were called Bulldogs. The beaten and scarred Bulldogs that were successful were the most prized possessions of the owner and were showered in flowers and paraded around town has true champions!!!......Ironically it was the Bulldog's tenacity, stubbornness and courage that was later used to fight other animals. Animals like lions, monkeys, bears, wolves and guess what else------Yup, Tigers!!! (aka Tiger Baiting).....This weekend only you'll be able to go back in time and watch a real live "Tiger Baiting" event in Columbia, Missouri!!!!.........The hunter (Missouri's defense) becomes the hunted!!! The winner of this game most likely will produce this year's SEC East Champion!!!!.......Expect UGA, along with RB Todd Gurley, to be hiking up their legs and marking the goalposts upon arrival to Faurot Field The Bulldogs are heading to MO to kick ass and chew bubble gum; and they're all out of gum!!!! Dawgs win---------WAIT!!!...Scratch that---GURLEY SUSPENDED!!!..........Tigers win and cover 33-31!!!
Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks (21pt DOG) @ Kentucky Wildcats .
KENTUCKY FOOTBALL IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!!!..........................Place your order, place your order!!! Now serving up fried Gamecock with a side order of "ass kicking"!!!..........Did somebody forget to tell Kentucky to lose this year??? .lollll Kentucky is one TRIPLE OT loss to Florida away from being 5-0!!! WOW!!!.......I don't know what to expect next; jelly on the outside of a biscuit, cats sleeping with dogs, ugly fat chicks hooking up with sober looking guys in broad daylight------THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN!!! Can you believe it??? Wildcats 4-1!!! ..WOW!!!............Kinda brings a tear to my eye just sayin' it!!! My little baby Kentucky basketball done all "Grown-UP" on me and became a big ole college football!!!! Well this week; make 5-1!!!...............Wildcats win and cover 42-17!!!
#2 Auburn Tigers (3pt FAV) @ #3 Mississippi State Bulldogs .
Three weeks ago, I picked the LSU Tigers to beat the Miss State Bulldogs at Baton Rouge on a Saturday night; and then last week, I picked the Texas A&M Aggies and Kenny Hill to outlast and outscore the Bulldogs!!!...Miss State dominated both games!!!!.......So, it seems like every time I pick against the Bulldogs in a big game they end up winning .So, what's up with that???....Has my expert football picking skills faded????........Has my LUCK changed???.........Did I break a mirror and forget about it??? Did I walk under a ladder at some point???......Did a black cat zip by me when I wasn't looking??? NO!!! Hey folks, you're not superstitious are you??? Do you really think if I pick Auburn to win this game Miss State would win??? That's just crazy talk!!!...So, despite the numerous death threats by Bulldogs Fan to pick Auburn this week I will instead call it; just like I see it!!!! . So, I went to my "palm reader" yesterday carrying my lucky rabbit's foot, wearing my lucky underwear with the horse shoe in it and she told me lollllllllll ..Folks, this Bulldog team doesn't need luck. They've got Dak Prescott!!!......I'm totally sold on this Bulldog team (despite the inconsistent kicking) Two talented very similar teams will be equally matched this Saturday. I expect this game to go down to the wire. In fact, I'm predicting this game has to go into overtime to produce a winner. When it comes to picking against the spread; you know what I like to say-------"I love a DOG at home, when the DOG at home, is a DAWG!!!" SOooooooooooooo, to all you superstitious Auburn Fans, I'm actually doing you a favorite this week!!! BUT, I'VE GOT A FEVER AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS MORE COWBELL!!!......GO DAWGS!!!.....Bullpuppies win and pocket the points 34-31!!!
Chattanooga Mocs (26 pt DOG) @ Tennessee Volunteers .
If you like watching "paint dry" you would have loved watching the Tennessee/Florida game last week!!!......It was a battle of offensive powers; Florida won 10-9!!! .Yippee!..........Let's just say, the most memorable part of this game, besides it ending, was Smokey cleaning his doggie parts on the sideline!!!
Despite the loss, Tennessee continues to improve. And, as long as QB Justin Worley can stay healthy; they have a chance to win in 5 out of the 7 games left on their schedule ..This week's opponent: Chattanooga Mocs which is short for mocking bird now!!!..........(politically correct strikes again) Anywhoooooo, Tennessee has struggled over the past few years, so the Athletic Director(AD) at Tennessee went shopping for cream puffs and cupcakes and finally settled on a dessert from Chattanooga!!!....The only problem picking out this dessert is; this dessert might bite back!!! The Mocs come into this game as the front runner in the Southern Football conference and are improving each week Expect Chattanooga to bring their "A" game to make the best of this rare opportunity since it's been 45 years since they've had a crack at the Volunteers!!!......But in the end, the only thing this Mocking Bird from Chattanooga will be "MOCKING" is the song being repeated all day long at Neyland Stadium!!!....Good ol' Rocky Top; Rocky Top, Tennessee!!!(repeat, and then repeat, and then repeat).......Volunteers win and cover 42-14!!!
#7 Alabama Crimson Tide (9.5pt FAV) @ Arkansas Razorbacks .
Testing, testing 123; testing 123 .All systems go!!!.......HOUSTON, Dick Satan is cleared for takeoff!!!...I'm just glad I didn't have to do wind sprints in Tuscaloosa this week!!!!.................Whoaaaaaaaa!!!....I have to admit; I would have loved to been tailing gating with Harvey Updyke when Alabama lost!!! Just sayin' he might have taught me a new cuss word or at least a new variation usage of the "F" word!!! There's probably not a tree safe within a 90mile radius of Oxford Miss now!!!!!....lollll BAMA Fans; NEVER FEAR!!!!! ..........Arkansas is here!!!.......The only problem is Arkansas is good this year!!!! And Coach Bret "Bielema-alone" has had two weeks of uninterrupted time to prepare for this game. This is going to be an ole fashion "slobber knobber"!!!!....I'm talking "Smash mouth, down and dirty, bloody nose and broken toes" kind of football game!!!.....................Expect these cornered BOARS from Fayetteville, AR to come out fighting until their bitter death!!!The Crimson Tide wins but does not cover 42-35!!!
LSU Tigers (2pt FAV) @ Florida Gators .
LSWHOoooooo???............Well, this weekend we'll find out WHOooo!!! .Will the Tigers come out fighting or will they come out like soulless zombies seeking a bullet to the brain to put them out of their misery????........Now, last I heard, after "Less" Miles finished watching the last week's game film; he headed over to the south side of town to meet up with a voodoo queen named Marie Laveau and have her sprinkle some black magic on his MOJO!!!...Well, that's the story he's telling his wife!!! But truth be known, Coach Miles was spotted on Bourdon Street walking out of the "Triple Dot" package store heading to the Red-Light District to do a little soul searching!!!!.....Florida can't score!!!! So, I think this is the weekend that humpy dumpy puts himself back together again!!! .Tigers win and cover 35-31!!!
Charleston Southern Buccaneers (21pt DOG) @ Vanderbilt Commodores .
She's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!! She's mighty mighty
And just lettin' it all hang out,,,,and she's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!!
And like lady's stacked and that's the fact
Ain't holding nothing back, she's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!!
We're here together everybody knows ..
This is how the story goes ..She's a brick,,,,dun dun dun dun dun,,,HOUSE!!!
Ok, that was one of the greatest hits of the Commodores!!!!.....Unfortunately, I'm going to be talking about a different band of Commodores. The only hits this Vanderbilt Commodores team produced last week was when their DB's ricocheted off Gurley's thighs as he ran for 163 yards and 2 touchdowns!!!..Worst team in the South Eastern Conference will be facing the best team in the Big South Conference!!!.........I'm very familiar with Charleston Southern and they will show up to play Saturday but no way, they beat Vandy at Vandy!!! Unless Vandy pulls a Vandy!!!! Commodores win but do not cover 34-24!!!
#3 Ole Miss Rebels (2.5pt DOG) @ #14 Texas A&M Aggies .
Are you ready? Hell yeah! Damn right! Hotty Totty! Gosh almighty! Who the hell are we? Hey! Flim flam! Bim bam! Ole Miss! By damn!......Three things that I didn't expect to see in Oxford, Miss last weekend!!!
#1- @6:45 pm -Ole Miss upsets Alabama....
#2- @12:01am-Katy Perry is still partyin' hard & body surfing at a local bar in Oxford
#3- @2:15 am - A frat guy "hugging-n-kissing" on a piece of the goalpost mumbling---"I love you too Bo!!!!"
Did everyone in the world think what I was thinking after the Ole Miss Kicker missed that extra point on that last TD???..........Yup, Bama is going to drive down and win this game by one point!!!!...Shoooo!!!...CLOSE, but no cigar Alabama!!! Bottom-line: The Rebel's defense stepped up and made a play when they had to secure the "W" and that's what counts!!!!........Better sober up quick Katy Perry, this week you're on the road----Hostile TERRITORY!!!! The Aggies got embarrassed by the Mississippi State Bulldogs last week and have revenge on their mind!!!! All Texas A&M can see this weekend is "RED" and that the Ole Miss Rebels are from Mississippi!!!Texas A&M has been totally focused this week in practice and the Aggie Defense "CANNOT" wait to get the taste of Bully's poop out of their mouth!!! Unfortunately for the Aggie defense this weekend they'll be getting served Bo Wallace "Poo-Poo" sandwiches!!!........lollll......(Yeah, I went there!!!)Rebels win and pocket the points 27-24!!!
End of Week Seven
JIMBO's FREE SEC COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
"With advice this bad, you have to give it away!!!"
**************Results after Week Six**************
****Week Six Results****
Picked 01 winners out of 06 games (Straight up) 16.67%
Picked 02 winners out of 06 games (Against the Spread) 33.33%
****YTD Results****
Picked 44 winners out of 55 games (Straight up) 80.00%
Picked 26 winners out of 53 games (Against the Spread) 49.06%
